Home Alone Lost In Trenton
by TammeraC
Summary: BabeCake-ish kids story. Somewhat Joe friendly when he isn't being a kid. Plum take on Home Alone. Carlos is lost in Trenton. With bad guys on his tail with a plan to kidnap Santa, can Carlos and the other kids save Christmas?
1. Chapter 1

Author: TammyC   
Title: Home Alone: Lost In Trenton - chapter 1  
Rating: PG - these are kids, but oh, what kids!  
Spoilers: Possible up to Twelve Sharp  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing characters and having fun. Not making any money. Characters belong to JE.  
A/N: This follows the basics of Home Alone, with a few other Christmas movie treats thrown in, as well as parts of my diary/blog (as usual)

Home Alone  
Lost In Trenton

Chapter 1

"You kids stop fighting back there!" Mom yelled.

"She started it," Carlos said.

"Did not," Celia said.

"Did too," Carlos said.

"Enough back there!" Dad said.

"Dad, I have to pee," Celia whined.

"You can go when we stop," Dad said. 

Carlos laid a finger on Celia's arm and grinned.

"Mom, he's touching me," Celia complained.

"Carlos, you are seven years old. Act your age."

"I always get blamed," Carlos said.

Celia huffed. "That's because you always start stuff."

"No, I do not. You do. I wish you would all just disappear. I don't need a family," Carlos said.

"One more word out of either of you, and I'll take back both of your allowances, plus your Christmas shopping money," Dad warned.

Carlos slumped back in his seat and closed his eyes. Darn families, anyway. He always got blamed. Ok, so he usually started it, but that was beside the point. But who needed families? If he didn't have them around, he could do whatever he wanted to. Say whatever he wanted to. Eat whatever he wanted to. Lots and lots of salad. He sighed and drifted off to sleep.

Carlos opened his eyes. The car had stopped at a gas station with a mini-mart. They weren't getting gas, though; they were parked near the front door. He got out of the car and stepped carefully onto the snowy ground.

Inside the store was not much warmer. He walked up and down the short aisles. No Mom. No Dad. No Celia. Setting his skim milk on the counter, he dug into his pockets for money. Beside the checkout stand was a display of toys. Sling shots, yo-yo's, jacks. And a neat looking doll dressed up as Wonder Woman. His grandma would love that for Christmas. He hoped. He put the doll on the counter and paid for that, too.

The wind was picking up outside. Carlos tightened the scarf around his neck as he walked back to the car. On the ground beside the car door was a wallet. Inside was a driver's license with his dad's picture on it. He climbed into the back seat of the car and stuffed the Wonder Woman doll into his backpack.

We aren't getting gas. They aren't in the store. Where are they?

"I made my family disappear," Carlos thought.

Memories of yelling, fighting, pinching, and blaming floated through his mind. A grin spread across his face.

"I made my family disappear," Carlos said.

Two men stepped out of the store into the frigid air. A tall skinny man with a moustache and a shorter man with a gold colored tooth. They both wore winter caps. And they were eating candy bars.

"Hey, I know those guys," Carlos thought. "They robbed our neighborhood last Christmas, and they are supposed to be in jail." 

The men looked at his car and slipped and slid toward it. Carlos ducked down on the floor behind the front seats.

The front car doors opened, and the men got inside.

"You know how to hot wire this thing?" the taller man asked.

"Don't need to," the shorter man answered. "Look, some idiot left the keys in the ignition."

The engine revved and the car started moving. After a few minutes, the men started talking again. 

"So, we have a car now. Where are we going? Mexico? Canada? The airport?"

"No. Trenton," the shorter man answered.

"Trenton?"

"Yea. To the Quakerbridge Mall."

"We going Christmas shopping? We going to rob a mall in daylight?"

"No," the driver said. Santa is working there."

"Oh goodie! We can tell him what we want for Christmas!"

"We aren't going to talk to Santa. We are going to kidnap him." 

Carlos gasped, and slapped his hand over his mouth.

"But wouldn't that ruin Christmas?" the taller man asked. 

"Exactly," the driver said. "He ruined our Christmas last year, remember? He left us nothing but coal in our stockings," the driver said.

"Yea, I remember. Now we're going to kidnap him and hold him for ransom. For what, a million dollars?"

"No," the shorter man said as he drove. "A million toys. All the toys at the North Pole." 

"Hey, and then we can open our own toy store. The Bandits Toy Store. We'll be rich."

"Yea," the driver said. "Rich and famous. Hey! You're getting chocolate all over the seat."

"So? It can be our new signature. The Chocolate Bandits."

The car turned in to a parking lot. A car horn blared, and the bandit driver honked back. "Hey, same to you, pal!" he said. "You snooze, you lose." 

When the car stopped, the bandits got out, still talking about their plan. Carlos waited for a couple of minutes before peeking out the window.

They were going to kidnap Santa! And ruin Christmas for everyone. Unless Carlos could stop them.

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Author: TammyC   
Title: Home Alone: Lost In Trenton - chapter 2  
Rating: PG - these are kids, but oh, what kids!  
Spoilers: Possible up to Twelve Sharp  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing characters and having fun. Not making any money. Characters belong to JE.  
A/N: This follows the basics of Home Alone, with a few other Christmas movie treats thrown in, as well as parts of my diary/blog (as usual)

Home Alone  
Lost In Trenton

Chapter 2

Carlos slung his backpack over his shoulders and climbed out of the car. He weaved his way through a maze of cars towards the mall's entrance. Wow! It was huge. He looked at the rooftop, but saw no reindeer or sleigh. Probably Santa wasn't there, yet. Maybe he should wait outside for him to arrive. The cold wind whipped at his cheeks and stung his nose. The snow started to fall again. Maybe he should just wait inside.

The noise inside the mall was a stew of laughter, crying, talking, and Christmas music. Carlos wandered around for a few minutes until he found a directory sign. Mom always used these to find a new store. Maybe it would tell him where Santa was. Too bad he was still learning to read. His vocabulary was limited to mostly three letter words, with a few four letter words. Not that he would write those four letter words around his mother. Soap did not taste very good.

Up ahead he saw a boy in an electronics store. Maybe he knew where Santa was.

"Excuse me," Carlos said to the boy. "Do you know if Santa is here, yet?"

The boy was busy holding a small remote control box and pushing buttons on it. And he was grinning. A salesman nearby was showing a television set to a couple. The remote was aimed that direction. 

"Yea," the boy said. "He's here."

The salesman turned the television on, and chatted with the man and woman. The volume increased on the tv. The man turned the volume back down. Then the channel changed. The salesman scratched his head and turned it back.

"Have you seen him?" Carlos asked the boy.

"Who? Oh, yea, Santa. He's here," the boy said, grinning even wider now.

"Have you seen him?" 

"No, but other kids have. What do you want to see him for anyway? He's not real."

"Why would you think that?" Carlos asked.

"Because last year, I got coal in my stocking," the boy said.

Carlos could not imagine why.

The television turned off.

"I'm very sorry, sir," the salesman said. "There seems to be a problem with this set. This hasn't happened before."

The couple turned around and saw the boy, who was still pushing buttons on the remote.

"Joseph Anthony Morelli!" the woman yelled. "Just what do you think you are doing?"

"Here, kid, it's all yours," Joe said. He tossed Carlos the remote as he ran out the door.

Carlos handed the remote to the salesman. "Do you know where Santa is? It is really important that I find him," Carlos said.

"Gee, I dunno, kid. Try the toy store down the mall."

Roaming down the mall, Carlos spotted two security guards. They would probably help find Santa. Security was their job.

"Hey, mister," Carlos said to the taller one, "can you help me find Santa?" 

The men glanced down at him. Carlos froze. They looked like...

"Well, lookie here," the taller man said. 

"Hiya, pal," the shorter man said.

Yikes! The Chocolate Bandits!

"AAAAHHHH!!!!" Carlos dodged the two men and ran into the nearest store. He frantically looked for a place to hide. Women's bras, nighties, and whatever-the-heck-those-things-are were hung on displays throughout the store. A large bin of silky looking things was a few feet away. He dove into the bin and buried himself beneath the pile of silky underwear.

He heard the Chocolate Bandits' voices. They were very near.

"This way."

"No, that way." 

"He went in here."

"I don't see him anywhere. Maybe he went out the back door."

"Let's go check."

After a minute of silence, Carlos popped his head out of the pile. It looked like the coast was clear.

"They're gone. You can come out now," an unfamiliar voice said.

Carlos climbed out of the bin and looked up the boy who was speaking to him. He was taller than Carlos, black, short-cropped hair, and was built well, like a tank.

"Thanks, um, what's your name?" Carlos asked.

"Tank."

"Tank?" 

"Yea, people call me Tank. Because I like playing with tanks. And because I'm big."

"Oh. They call me Carlos. Because, um, that's what they named me."

Tank chuckled. "Who are those guys?"

"They're the Chocolate Bandits. Last year they robbed our neighborhood. And now I heard them saying they wanted to kidnap Santa to ruin Christmas," Carlos said.

"Well we gotta stop them, then," Tank said. "Just one question."

"What?"

"Do you always wear girls' panties on your head?"

Carlos felt his head with his hand. Yep, panties. He whipped them off and tossed them into the bin. But not before his cheeks turned a crimson red.

To Be Continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Challenge: Holiday Movie  
Author: TammyC   
Title: Home Alone: Lost In Trenton - chapter 3  
Rating: PG - these are kids, but oh, what kids!  
Spoilers: Possible up to Twelve Sharp  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing characters and having fun. Not making any money. Characters belong to JE.  
A/N: This follows the basics of Home Alone, with a few other Christmas movie treats thrown in, as well as parts of my diary/blog (as usual)

Home Alone  
Lost In Trenton

Chapter 3

Tank and Carlos stepped out of the store and into the mall.

"So, what's the plan?" Tank asked.

"We gotta warn Santa about the Chocolate Bandits," Carlos said. "But first, we have to find Santa."

"If they want to kidnap Santa, why are you running from them?" Tank looked around for signs of the kidnappers.

"They recognize me from last Christmas. I called the police, and they got put in jail. I guess they didn't have much fun there," Carlos said.

"Yea, I guess not. So where to next?" Tank asked.

"A boy thought Santa might be in the toy store. That's what I'm looking for now." 

Tank and Carlos noticed two boys talking nearby. They were about the same age as they were. One boy was black and big, almost as big as Tank. The other kid was probably italian, because he looked a little like the man from the Rocky movies.

"Let's shake on it, Eddie," the black kid said.

"Okay, Benny, the first one to get a girl to kiss him gets ten bucks." Eddie spit in his palm and shook Benny's hand.

"And not just any old kiss, either. It's gotta be a good kiss," Benny said. 

A chunky little red-haired girl heard them talking as she walked by. She stopped and smiled at the boys.

"I'll kiss you," the little girl said. Her hands played with the skirt of her red Christmas dress.

"No, Joyce, I'm not going to kiss you." Benny's lips curled back in disgust. "You got cooties."

"Well," Joyce turned to Eddie, "how about you?" She leaned over to whisper in Eddie's ear. "My brother says I'm a really good kisser. He taught me how to use my tongue and everything." She puckered up and made kissy noises. 

Eddie ducked away from Joyce's lips. "Ew, gross!" 

Tank and Carlos left the other boys to dodge Joyce and her tainted lips. Strolling down the mall strip, they stopped at several store fronts to admire the colorful Christmas displays. Up ahead they spotted the Chocolate Bandits.

"Quick," Carlos said, "let's duck into this store."

Macy's was huge. And noisy. Glass counters sprawled as far as the eye could see. Shoppers sampled a variety of perfumes and cosmetics. The boys choked on the fog of perfumes in the air.

A lady was sitting at a nearby counter, glopping a white cream all over her face. Peering up at her was a chatty little girl. She was black, and a couple of years younger than they were. Her hair was done up in 20 different braids, all adorned with pink ribbons that matched her dress. A baby doll was clutched to her chest.

"What ya doing, mama?" the little girl asked the white-glopped lady.

"Well, I'm trying to make myself beautiful, Lula," her mother said.

"And that white stuff does it?" Lula asked.

"That's what it is supposed to do, dear."

The woman picked up a napkin. Staring intently in the little mirror in front of her, she started wiping the gunk off of her face.

"What's the matter, mama?" Lula asked. "You giving up? Can we go see the toys now?"

"Lula, I'll be done in a minute. We can go see the toys then," her mother answered.

Lula sighed. She turned around and saw Carlos and Tank next to her. She smiled.

"Hi, my name is Lula. This is my doll, Baby. Say hi, Baby."

"Uh, hi." Tank shifted his feet, trying to look uninterested.

"My mom is trying to get beautiful. She said she doesn't feel very beautiful. I think it's because she is so huge. But that's because she's going to have a baby soon."

Carlos and Tank paid as little attention to her as they could, while keeping an eye out for the Bandits.

"What's your name?" Lula asked Tank.

"They call me Tank." 

Lula giggled. "That's a funny name. Not as funny as our new baby's name, though."

"Why, what is it's name?" She had his curiosity up now, although just slightly.

"If it's a boy, they're gonna call it Jerome. Mama said Jerome is a good name for a boy. Daddy said if it's another girl, they're gonna call it Quits. That's a funny name for a baby, isn't it? Quits?" Lula said.

Carlos and Tank looked at her for a moment with blank stares. Carlos blinked.

"We have to go. We're looking for someone," he said.

"Who ya looking for?" Lula sweetly asked.

"We're looking for Santa. And for a couple of security guards," Tank said.

"What do secoorty guards look like?"

"Well, kind of like police. Almost," Carlos said.

"Oh!" Lula said. "You mean like them?" Lula pointed toward the door.

The Chocolate Bandits walked slowly into the store, their eyes scanning the crowds.

"It's them!" Carlos whispered.

Tank bent down and whispered in Lula's ear. "Don't tell them you saw us, ok?"

"But, why..."

"Look, we heard them talking. They want to kidnap Santa. We're trying to warn Santa. Just don't tell them you saw us, ok?"

"Ok, I promise," Lula said.

The boys ducked behind the counter. 

The Chocolate Bandits sauntered farther into the store. They stopped when they reached Lula.

"Hi. My name is Lula." 

"Hi, kid." The taller bandit sounded uninterested. 

"Are you secoorty guards? Like the police?"

"Yea, we are. Don't bother us, kid. We're looking for someone."

Lula ignored that. "Are you looking for someone to help? My Sunday School teacher told us that police are to help people. And if we ever need help we should tell them. Cause they'll help us. Cause that's what they do. They help people. Is that what you do?"

"Yea, kid, that's what we do," the shorter man said, looking around the store.

"You help people?" Lula asked.

"Yea, kid, we help people," the taller man said.

"Good, cause I need help." Lula lifted her leg and held her foot out. "Can you please tie my shoe? Cause it got untied. And mama can't bend over to tie it. Cause she's huge. That's because she's gonna have a baby."

"Yea, that's nice, kid," the shorter man said.

"If it's a boy, they're gonna call it Jerome. Mama said Jerome is a good name for a boy. Daddy said if it's another girl, they're gonna call it Quits. That's a funny name for a baby, isn't it? Quits?" Lula said.

"Not from where I'm standing," the taller man said. "See ya later, kid." And they left the store.

"But...but...but my shoe. It came untied. And mama can't tie it because..."

The boys crawled back around the counter. Tank bent down and tied Lula's shoe. Lula bent down and kissed his cheek. Tank's eyes were wide with surprise.

"Thank you, Tank," Lula said.

"You're welcome. Well, we gotta go." Tank patted her cheek. Now, you be good to your baby brother or sister," he said.

Lula crossed her heart. "Oh, I will. I'll help feed it and change it and sing to it and tell it stories and...Tank? Where did you go?" 

To Be Continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Author: TammyC  
December 2006   
Title: Home Alone: Lost In Trenton - chapter 4  
Rating: PG - these are kids, but oh, what kids!  
Spoilers: Possible up to Twelve Sharp  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing characters and having fun. Not making any money. Characters belong to JE.  
A/N: This follows the basics of Home Alone, with a few other Christmas movie treats thrown in, as well as parts of my diary/blog (as usual)

Home Alone  
Lost In Trenton

Chapter 4

A flood of children crowded around the front window outside the toy store. The display looked magical. A Christmas tree stood tall at the center. Its tips were flocked with white. Bright colorful lights hugged the boughs and blinked to the Christmas tunes playing. Around the bottom, a train hummed along a circular track. Popular toys were tucked around the tree, inside and outside the track.

Carlos and Tank stood in awe, taking in the scene. Tank pointed to a G.I. Joe doll that was still in its package.

"That's what I really want for Christmas," he said. "What are you hoping for?"

"I did want a Batman and a Batmobile," Carlos sighed. "But right now I think I just want my family back."

"Your family back? What happened to them?" Tank asked.

Carlos hung his head. "We were fighting, and I wished they'd disappear. And at a gas station, they did. I looked in the store, even, but they weren't there. That's when the Chocolate Bandits stole the car I was in."

Tank rubbed his near-bald head. "Huh," he said. "I didn't know people could just go poof like that."

"They can't," a boy said.

Carlos turned to his left and saw the boy named Joe. "How do you know?" Carlos asked. "I mean, for sure?"

Joe puffed his chest out. "Cause I'm nine years old," he said. "So I know lots of stuff that younger kids don't."

"Wow," Carlos said. He felt him self pushed aside a little.

"He don't know anything, cause he's just a dumb boy." A girl around Carlos' age wriggled her way in between Tank and Carlos. She was dressed in a Wonder Woman outfit. Her wild curly hair twirled down to the center of her back. Her eyes were a deep blue.

"Hey," Tank said. "What do you have against boys? I'm a boy, too."

"Are you dumb?" she asked.

"No," Tank said. "I'm smart."

Wonder Woman placed her hands on her hips. "Well, then, you're not a dumb boy. But Joe still is." 

Joe leaned around Carlos. "I am not," he told Wonder Woman. "I now more stuff than you do."

"Oh, yea?" she asked. "Like what?"

Joe stood up a little taller. "I know how to pee in a bottle," he said proudly. "And I know Santa isn't real."

Hmmm. He had a point with the bottle. She'd have to try that when she got home. But Santa? He just didn't know what he was talking about.

"He is too real," she argued.

"Nope," Joe insisted. "Cause I got coal in my stocking last year." 

Wonder Woman wagged her finger under Joe's nose. "That's because you aren't potty trained. You pee in bottles."

Joe waved her finger away. Hmmm. But she had a point about the bottle. 

"I'm Carlos," he told the girl. "And that's Tank. What's your name?"

She smiled her pretty smile. "Well, most people just call me Wonder Woman."

Joe leaned in slightly between Carlos and the girl. "No they don't," Joe informed her. "Your name is Stephanie."

She shook her finger under his nose again. "Joe, you aren't supposed to call me that," she snapped.

"Why not?" Carlos asked. "I think Stephanie is a pretty name." 

Stephanie cupped her hand to her mouth and whispered into Carlos' ear. "That's my secret identity."

Carlos nodded, understanding.

Tank felt a tug on his sleeve. He glanced down to find Lula staring up at him.

"Hi, Tank," Lula said. "Did you find Santa, yet? Cause it's real important to find Santa and let him know about the kidnappers. Kidnappers are bad."

Tank shook his head. "Nope. Still looking for him."

Joe rolled his eyes. "I told you, he isn't real."

"He is too real. And we have to find him and save him from the kidnappers."

"Wow," Stephanie said. "Can we help?"

Joe waved his hands in the air in exasperation. "There's no Santa, and there's no kidnappers," he said.

Stephanie unhooked a golden colored rope from her utility belt. "There's one way to tell for sure," she said. She wrapped the rope around Carlos' waist. "This is my magical lasso of truth. Carlos, is Santa real?" 

"Yes," Carlos answered.

"And are there really kidnappers after Santa?" she asked.

"Yes, I told you," Carlos said.

Joe scoffed. "Oh, well, that proves it, doesn't it?"

Stephanie pulled the rope away from Carlos. "Joe, you can't lie with my magical golden lasso of truth," she said. "Here, I'll prove it." She wrapped the cord around Joe's waist. "Joe, do you play choo-choo in your garage?"

"Uh...yes," Joe said. "Dang, that thing really works."

Tank turned around and saw Lula talking to Benny and Eddie a few yards away. Benny had her by the arm, and she was trying to pull away.

"Come on," Benny said. "Just one little kiss, and then you can go." 

"Okay," Lula said. "But you have to close your eyes. Cause that's how they do it in the movies. They close their eyes. Mama says that's cause you don't have to see how ugly they are when you kiss them. Cause if you see how ugly they are, you won't want to kiss them. And if you don't want to kiss them..." 

"Okay, okay. We get the point," Eddie said. "So, which one of us are you gonna kiss?"

Tank was at Lula's side. "How about you boys close your eyes," Tank said. "That way you can find out who she picks."

The boys closed their eyes and puckered their lips.

Lula reached up and snagged Tank's ear. She gave it a tug and pulled him down to her level."Tank," she whispered in his ear. "I don't wanna kiss these boys. I was gonna run away when they closed their eyes. Cause mama says you shouldn't be kissing boys unless you really like them. Cause they might get ideas and think you like them and..." 

"Shhh!" Tank whispered back. "Just trust me, Lula." He winked at her.

"Okay, boys, Lula made her choice. You boys ready?"

Benny and Eddie bobbed their heads up and down. Tank took the doll from Lula's arms and grinned. This was going to be great. He pressed the doll to Benny's lips, and then to Eddie's. Both boys opened their eyes wide.

Benny's eyes narrowed at Lula. "Why, you little..."

Benny and Eddie stepped forward, but Tank blocked their path. Carlos and Joe stepped up beside Tank. Stephanie grabbed the doll and Lula's hand and dragged her away to safety. Benny and Eddie tried to follow, but the other three boys would not budge.

"I hope you learned a lesson. Good boys don't go around kissing all the girls. Isn't that right, Joe?" Tank asked.

Joe startled. "They don't?" He recovered quickly. "Oh, yea, they don't. Bad boys, both of you."

Tank walked away with Carlos and Joe close on his heals.

Eddie called to Lula. "We'll get you, my pretty. And your little doll, too."

"Not today, boys," Tank flung over his shoulder.

"Where's your mama, Lula?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know," Lula said. "She was busy trying to get beautiful in that store we were in. Cause she don't feel beautiful anymore. I think it's just cause she's so huge. But that's because she's having a baby soon. If it's a boy..."

"Man," Joe mumbled to Stephanie, "and I thought you talked a lot."

Stephanie elbowed him lightly in the ribs while smiling.

Tank covered Lula's mouth with his hand. "What's your mama's name?" he asked her. "Maybe we can have the mall page her."

"Her name is Mama, silly," Lula said. "Cause that's what we call her. Cause..."

Carlos put his hand over Lula's mouth and smiled. "Okay, what does your daddy call your mama?" He asked. This should get the answer they were looking for.

Lula was actually silent for a moment as she was thinking. Then she grinned. "Broad," she said. "Her name is Dumb Broad." 

Joe shook his head and glanced at Stephanie. She wasn't speaking. Her eyes were wide open and her jaw was dropped open. 

"Wow," Joe told Stephanie. "You're speechless. That's a first."

Tank grabbed Lula by the hand and tugged her along. "Come on," he said. "I guess you can stay with us til we find her."

Lula's face lit up. "Okay," she said. "Maybe we can find Santa, too." 

"I'm coming, too," Stephanie said.

"Me, too," Joe said.

"I thought you didn't believe in Santa," Stephanie taunted.

"Well, it won't hurt to try, right?" Joe asked. He reached out for Stephanie's hand. "Besides, if my folks ask why I wandered off, I can tell them I'm helping you find your mom."

Lula started skipping at a slow pace. "Goodie," she said. "And we got to find Santa and warn him about those kidnappers. Cause those kidnappers are no good. They wouldn't even help me tie my shoe. And if they get Santa, they'll ruin Christmas. And Christmas is a special time of year, my mama says..."

Carlos and Tank groaned.

Joe and Stephanie dropped back a few from the others.

"I hope we find her mama soon," Joe whispered. "She talks more than even you do."

Stephanie rolled her eyes and then gave Joe a wink.

To Be Continued...


	5. Chapter 5

Author: TammyC  
December 2006   
Title: Home Alone: Lost In Trenton - chapter 5  
Rating: PG - these are kids, but oh, what kids!  
Spoilers: Possible up to Twelve Sharp  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing characters and having fun. Not making any money. Characters belong to JE.  
A/N: This follows the basics of Home Alone, with a few other Christmas movie treats thrown in, as well as parts of my diary/blog (as usual)

Home Alone  
Lost In Trenton

Chapter 5

Lula's mama was found outside a maternity store. She was in tears when she hugged her little girl, obviously relieved to have her back. After a brief tongue lashing about wandering off, the pair strolled away.

"Lula's mom said that Santa is at the center of the mall, by the main entrance. Next to the escalators that go up to the food court," Carlos said.

The kids agreed they should head that direction. They took a few steps before Carlos froze in his tracks.

"It's them," he said.

"Who?" Stephanie asked.

"The Chocolate Bandits. Over there." Carlos pointed toward the candy store.

"The Chocolate what?" Joe asked.

Carlos gave Joe and Stephanie a quick version of last year's robberies and today's events.

"You have to hide," Stephanie whispered. "Hurry in here." She dragged Carlos by the hand into the maternity store.

They raced to the back of the store. Joe grabbed a garment off the sale rack and held it out to Carlos. "Here, put this on," he said. "It's big enough to cover all of you."

Carlos reached out for the article. When he touched it, he drew his hand back as if it had been burned. "That's a dress! For a pregnant woman. No way am I putting that thing on. I'd rather die."

Tank pulled Carlos by the arm. "Hide here, in this closet," he said. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked.

"Look," Stephanie said. "The door doesn't go all the way to the floor. Quick, crawl under."

Joe waved his arms. "Hurry up, they're coming into the store."

Carlos crouched down and crawled under the door. A moment later, someone screamed. Then the door opened.

"AAAHHH!" Carlos yelled. "She's not wearing clothes!" He took a step away from the door, then hit the floor as a near-naked woman clobbered his head with her purse."

"You pervert! You sicko! Help, security!" she yelled.

Carlos scrambled to his feet and took off at a run toward the front door. The Chocolate Bandits stood at the entrance. They blocked the escape route, their legs spread wide and their arms outstretched.

Not about to stop, Carlos dove for the floor and skid feet first between the tall bandit's legs. Like a baseball player sliding into first. Hooking an arm around the bandit's leg, he sent the man tumbling to the floor.

Tank lowered his head and aimed for the shorter bandit. He plowed through the man, like a quarterback running for the goal line. The shorter bandit lie winded on the floor.

Joe and Stephanie were right behind. They trampled both men on the floor, like spooked cattle in a stampede.

The four were halfway down the mall corridor when Stephanie skid to a halt. "Wait!" She yelled. "My magical lasso of truth is gone. I must have dropped it." 

Turning on her heels, she disappeared into the crowd. She was halfway back to the maternity store when she felt a hand on her arm. A boy stopped her with a yank and pulled her to the wall. She looked up in to the narrow eyes of Benny.

"You're that girl who was with those boys," he said.

"Uh, what boys?" Try to play dumb, Stephanie. Maybe they'll buy it.

"Those boys who kissed us with a doll," Eddie said sharply.

"Oops?" Stephanie said.

"Yea, oops. Now you're gonna pay," Benny sneered. "Now you get to kiss both of us."

"Oh, well, that's okay," Stephanie said. "I like to kiss boys. I've kissed lots of them," she lied.

"You do? You have?" Eddie asked.

"Are you any good?" Benny asked.

How the heck would she know? Best to still pretend she knew what she was talking about. "Sure," she said. "But I have one rule."

"What's that?" Eddie sounded skeptical.

"If it's going to be a really good kiss, you have to close your eyes," Stephanie said. "It's more romantic that way."

Benny cocked his head. "Wait a minute," he said. "You don't have a doll, do you?" 

"Nope, no doll." At least that was the truth. "You want to kiss or not? Close your eyes."

The boys obeyed. Eyes closed, they puckered their lips. Stephanie grabbed Benny's chin with her left hand and Eddie's with her right. "Turn you face this way so I can reach" she said as she adjusted their heads just so. She curled a hand behind each boy's head.

"You boys ready for the kiss of your life?" Stephanie asked.

The boys bobbed their heads up and down. Stephanie shoved both of their heads forward at the same time. Benny's lips met with Eddie's. Their eyes grew wide and they jumped back in shock.

Stephanie made her escape while the boys were busy spitting repeatedly on the ground. Weaving in and out, she made her way through the crowd of shoppers. Suddenly she hit something that felt like a wall. She looked up and saw it was the taller Chocolate Bandit. Quickly, she turned around away from them. Benny and Eddie looking for her, heading her direction. She glanced back up at the bandits. They were slowly turning around toward her. Turning her head back, she made eye contact with Eddie and Benny. They were close, and they looked angry. 

A light bulb went off in her head as an idea formed. She poked the shorter bandit in the ribs. "Hey, you," she said. 

"Are you talking to me, little girl?" the bandit asked.

Stephanie put her hands on her hips and raised her chin. "My brother and his friend said that you guys are stupid," she said. "Stupid and ugly."

"Oh, is that so?" the shorter bandit asked.

"Anything else?" the taller bandit asked.

"Yea," Stephanie said. "They said you sleep in Little Mermaid pajamas and that you can't read." 

"We do not," said the taller bandit. "We hate the Little Mermaid, don't we?"

Stephanie turned around just as the Benny and Eddie reached her. "See," she said to Eddie. "I told you they don't wear Little Mermaid pajamas." 

Stephanie was able to find her magical golden lasso of truth after the boys were carted away by the Chocolate Bandits. She was fastening the rope to her belt when her friends showed up.

"We combed the mall for you," Joe said. "Where were you?" 

Stephanie explained about the kissers and the bandits, and how she escaped. The boys laughed and high-fived her.

"Wow," Carlos said. "Girl, you are good."

To Be Continued...


	6. Chapter 6

Challenge: December 2006 Holiday Movie   
Author: TammyC  
December 2006   
Title: Home Alone: Lost In Trenton - chapter 6  
Rating: PG - these are kids, but oh, what kids!  
Spoilers: Possible up to Twelve Sharp  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing characters and having fun. Not making any money. Characters belong to JE.  
A/N: This follows the basics of Home Alone, with a few other Christmas movie treats thrown in, as well as parts of my diary/blog (as usual)

Home Alone  
Lost In Trenton

Chapter 6

It was a Christmas wonderland. Elaborate decorations turned the heart of the mall into a miniature North Pole. A tall white tree boasted twinkling lights and colorful balls. Inside a small gingerbread house, elves wrapped packages in shiny paper and ribbons. Fake snow carpeted the floor. Two reindeer grazed at a pile of cookies. The bells on their harnesses jingled whenever the animals moved. Snaked around the perimeter of the scene, a line of children sang carols as they waited to see Santa. The noise level rivalled that of a train station. Santa sat in the middle of it all, in a big red sleigh.

It was almost dinner time when Carlos and his new friends neared the front of the line. A tall elf with a droopy hat and pointy shoes stood at teh front of the line, controlling the traffic to Santa. His name tag read "Mooner".

"Hey, dudette," Mooner said to Stephanie. "Righteous outfit." He spoke kind of slow. Stephanie wondered if he thought as slowly as he talked. 

"Thanks," she said. "I got it for Christmas last year. I wear it when I am fighting crime, or whenever my mom lets me."

"Awesome, dudette."

"And my magical lasso of truth really works," she said proudly.

"Of coarse, it does," Mooner said. "Dougie invented it last year."

"Wow," Carlos said. "What's he working on this year?"

"He isn't working on anything this year. Dude is on reindeer detail now. Ya know, shovelling poop and stuff." Mooner said.

"Eww!" the kids said.

"He was working on some brownies in the kitchen. Really good ones. Coarse, when we elves tested them, we didn't work as fast. And some of the toys turned out weird," Mooner said.

"Really?" Tank asked. "Like what?"

Mooner scratched his head and his eyes rolled back into his head a bit.

"Let's see," Mooner said. "There were these trains that ran backwards on their tracks. Oh, and then there were these fire engines with flashing lights and firemen. When you pushed the button, they were supposed to say fireman stuff, and there was supposed to be a siren."

The kids waited a moment for Mooner to continue. He just looked at them and smiled. It looked like he was finished.

"So what did the fire engine do?" Joe finally asked.

"Oh, it played _Hi Ho Hi Ho It's Off To Work We Go_. Oh, yea, and the firemen said things like "_Mama, there's a girl in the castle_" and "_I don't think we're in Kansas anymore_." Real weird stuff," Mooner said.

"Anything else get messed up?" Stephanie asked.

"I don't remember all of them. But the best one was this baby doll. When you pressed her hand, she was supposed to say "_Mama_." But instead her head spun around in circles. It was like really awesome, like on _The Exorcist_," Mooner said.

"My sister got one of those!" Joe said. "It was great."

"Aren't you a little tall to be an elf?" Stephanie asked.

"Oh, I'm not really an elf. Me and Dougie, we were left on someone's doorstep on Christmas Eve. Santa found us and took us home with him to the North Pole," Mooner said.

"You must have been a really rotton kid," Joe said.

Mooner poked Joe in the chest. "Hey, it could still happen to you, too. Well, dudette, I think you're up."

Stephanie climbed into the sleigh and sat on Santa's lap. She told him about the Chocolate Bandits. And how it must be true, because she'd used her magical lasso of truth.

"Thank you, Stephanie," Santa said. "I appreciate you warning me."

Stephanie's eyes widened. "You know my real name?" she whispered.

Santa chuckled. "I know lots of things," he said. "And I know you've been a very good girl this year. Even if you did color your Grandma Mazur's false teeth with Easter egg dye while she was sleeping."

Stephanie gulped, and Santa laughed again. 

"So, what would you like for Christmas this year?" Santa asked.

"Didn't you get my letter?" Stephanie asked.

Santa nodded. "Yes, I did. Would you like to add to your wish list?"

Stephanie shook her head. "No, I just want the one thing."

"There's a shortage of them this year," Santa said. "I'll see what I can do." 

Stephanie hugged Santa and joined her friends. Santa climbed out of his sleigh and headed to Mooner.

"Mooner," Santa said. "Contact Elf Security immediately. Notify them of a possible kidnapping attempt on me. If they can catch the Chocolate Bandits, aka the Sticky Bandits, they are to apprehend them and take them to the police station."

"Uh, okay Santa." Mooner headed off to find Elf Security.

Tank climbed into the sleigh and sat next to Santa.

"Merry Christmas, Tank," Santa said. "You don't want to sit on my lap?"

Tank shook his head. "No, I'm good right here," he said.

Santa laughed. "That's good. You would probably end up crushing my legs. So, what do you want for Christmas this year?"

"I really want a G.I. Joe doll. The one in the cammo outfit." Tank's voice dropped to a whisper. "Not like the one last year. He was wearing a pink ballerina dress."

Santa closed his eyes and shook his head. Dang, he thought they'd caught them all before they were wrapped.

"I'll see what I can do. You were a very good boy helping with Lula today," Santa said. 

Tank stepped out of the sleigh. He reached his friends in time to see Benny and Eddie sauntering over. They were talking to each other.

"I think we've been going about this kissing thing all wrong," Eddie said. "We need to..." Eddie whispered something in Benny's ear.

Benny looked skeptical. "You really think that will work?" he asked.

Eddie nodded and a creepy smile crossed his face. "Oh, yea. Women really go for that romance crap. They really eat it up. Watch the master."

They approached a pretty girl who was standing in line behind Carlos. She was dressed in blank pants, black shirt, and black boots. She reminded Carlos of Catwoman.

Leaning towards the girl, Eddie whispered into her ear.

The girl narrowed her eyes. "What did you say?"

"I said..." he whispered into her ear again.

The girl shook her head. "I don't understand you. What does that mean?" she asked.

Eddie smiled slyly. He had her interest now. "It's italian. It means _'kiss me my love.'_"

Benny and Eddie leaned into the girl, their lips puckered. They made loud kissy noises as they neared her face.

The girl fisted her hand and clocked Eddie across the jaw. He went down like a sack of potatoes. A quick kick to Benny's chest sent him sprawling onto the floor. 

"That means NO in english," the girl said.

Tank tossed his head back and laughed. Carlos and Joe stared in awe. Stephanie just smiled.

Benny and Eddie were on their feet a few moments later. Still dazed, they shook their heads.

"Man, we need to learn some self defense," Benny said. "Boxing, or something."

A large figure loomed above them. "Well, well. If it isn't Benito Ramirez and Eddie Abruzzi," a deep voice said.

Benny's eyes widened. "Santa! We were just, um..."

"I have eyes," Santa said. "I know what you were doing. Most boys know better than to harass Jeanne Ellen, though. Don't they, Tank?"

Tank quit laughing and gulped.

"You boys need to go find your parents. They are upstairs in the food court."

The boys hung their heads and headed toward the escalator.

"I wonder if I should warn them that Joyce is upstairs, too," Santa said. He twirled his beard with his fingers and thought for a moment. "Na!" he finally said.

To Be Continued...


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Home Alone: Lost In Trenton - chapter 7  
Author: TammyC  
December 2006   
Rating: PG - these are kids, but oh, what kids!  
Spoilers: Possible up to Twelve Sharp   
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing characters and having fun. Not making any money. Characters belong to JE.  
A/N: This follows the basics of Home Alone, with a few other Christmas movie treats thrown in, as well as parts of my diary/blog (as usual)

Home Alone  
Lost In Trenton

Chapter 7

Santa and Joe seated themselves in the sleigh.

"I didn't get a letter from you this year, Joe," Santa said.

Joe lowered his head a little. "Well..." Joe began. "After last Christmas, I didn't know if I should write anymore. I thought I was either on the naughty list, or you were not real."

"Oh, I am real," Santa said. "Either that, or I'm having one heck of a dream. Why do you think you were on the naughty list? Were you bad?"

Joe shook his head. "Oh, no. Just the usual. But I asked for little cars last year, and I got coal in my stocking."

Santa blew out a sigh. "Some of the toys had, um, problems last year," Santa said.

"Yea, I heard. Some of them sounded really cool," Joe said. "Was there something wrong with the cars?"

"Most of the cars ended up in the chocolate cookie batter and baked into cookies," Santa said. "We hoped kids would eat the cookies and find the cars inside. I guess they did look kind of like coal."

Joe's face brightened. "So I'm not on the naughty list?"

Santa looked serious. "This year, you would have been. You've been very creative in ways to get into trouble lately."

Joe wrung his hands in his lap. Just what did Santa know about? He hoped it wasn't really bad.

"But, you were very good today when you helped look out after Stephanie," Santa said. "So, what would you like for Christmas this year?"

Joe's eyes lit up. "I want a Red Rider BB gun with carbine action, two-hundred shot range, with a compass in the stock and a clock that tells time," he said all in one breath.

"You'll shoot your eye out, kid," Santa said.

Joe's heart sunk in his chest. His mother and his teacher had gotten to Santa first. Maybe he could convince Santa. Bargain, maybe.

"How about if I sign up for a gun safety course?" Joe asked. 

"Deal," Santa said.

Joe climbed out of the sleigh and headed towards his friends.

"Oh, and Joe..." Santa called.

Joe turned around to face Santa.

"No more playing choo choo in the garage," Santa warned. "Not unless you have a real train."

"Look, it's them," Stephanie said, pointing towards the escalators. "The Chocolate Bandits."

The Bandits were handcuffed and yelling and arguing. Dragging them along were six elves dressed in black suits, boots, and black berets. One taller elf was wearing dangling earrings. The shorter bandit kicked the elf as he was handed off to one of four police officers. The elf in earrings kicked the back of the bandit's knee and sent him to the floor.

"What's your name, elf?" the bandit asked. "I'm going to find you. The next time we break out of the joint, you're toast. And your legs need a shave."

The elf stood over him and glared. "The name is Sally," the elf said in a boy's voice.

The bandit's eyes grew wide. "You're a guy?"

Hauled to his feet by a policeman, the bandit and his accomplice were dragged away.

Carlos was next to sit in Santa's sleigh.

"Merry Christmas, Carlos," Santa said. "Are you having a good holiday?"

Carlos filled Santa in about the day's events. The Chocolate Bandits, the car-jacking, his family's disappearance, the time at the mall. When he was finished, he sat with his hands on his backpack on his lap.

Santa pulled a red cell phone from his pocket. Flipping it open, he hit "2" on speed dial. 

"Hey, Frosty, Merry Christmas. How is it going?" Santa said. "Uh-huh. Hmmmm. Well, don't go into that building. It's too warm and you will melt. And hang on to your hat, it is supposed to get windy."

Carlos looked up at Santa. Was he really talking to a snowman? Was Frosty real? He wondered about Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy.

"Oh, and Frosty, I need a favor," Santa said. "Look up the family of Ricardo Carlos Manoso. Yes, from Newark. That's the one. He got lost in Trenton. Let his folks know that he has been found. He might not be home until late, but he has a ride home." He flipped his cell phone shut. 

His breath caught in his chest. A ride home? With Santa, maybe? Oh, how he hoped he could ride in the sleigh. Maybe Santa would let him drive the team of reindeer.

"What would you like for Christmas, Carlos?" Santa asked.

"I'd like a talking Batman doll," Carlos said with a smile.

"Isn't that what you asked for last year? Didn't you get one then?" Santa asked.

"Yes," Carlos began slowly. "But he had a girl's voice. And he said 'Come on Ken let's get married'." 

Santa smacked his forehead with his hand. "Darn that Dougie, anyway," he said. "I should have left him on that doorstep. Anything else?"

Carlos shifted in his seat. "That pretty girl who was just here, the one with the magical lasso of truth. What did she want for Christmas?" Carlos asked. 

"She really wants a Wonder Woman doll," Santa said. 

"Is she going to get one?" Carlos asked.

"I'm not really sure," Santa said. "I'll do my best. But there is a real shortage on those this year. The first few batches were defective. When you pulled the string, she didn't say what she was supposed to say. We had to recall them."

Carlos had an idea. He un-zipped the top of his backpack. Pulling out a Wonder Woman doll, he handed it to Santa.

"Can you make sure Stephanie gets this one?" Carlos asked. "I bought it for my grandma at the mini-mart. But I have something else that I can give her instead."

Santa patted Carlos on the head. He took the doll and put it into his toy bag.

"That's very nice of you, Carlos," Santa said. "I'll make sure she gets it tonight. And I'll do my best to get you your Christmas wish, too" Santa whispered. "You know, the one that you haven't told anyone about."

Carlos' heart skipped a beat. His eyes widened and he stared at Santa in awe. How could he know? And more important, could he pull it off?

To Be Continued...


End file.
